Getting back to meetings

I have not been going to meetings. Hard to say why. Once you get out of the routine of going to them, it's easy to just forget about them. At first I did alot of online meetings and postings, but that has stopped too. At first I said, well I am not drinking or doing any substance so it's OK. Even though I understand that the spiritual growth part is put on hold. But things are basically OK with me so I don't feel this need to go to meetings. I guess if I drink, then I will know to go.

Yet I do miss meetings. There is something you get from them that I miss that I can't get anywhere else. I think it would help me in specific ways.

I do not think seriously of drinking. The main thing I miss about meetings though is that I do feel isolated in the drinking society that America is. What I mean is everyone I know, looks forward to when they can drink, some more or some less, but everything I hear from co-workers is about how they will drink this or that watching the big game on TV or when they are on vacation.

And I don't have that comfort. A few weeks ago I had the thought that maybe I am 'cured now'. I have been sober for 6 months, the disease was selling me on, and thus, I am cured, I can have a glass of wine once a week. So I said to the disease, some call it the beast, no, I don't think it works that way, this is for good. In my life, I have had enough alcholhol and substances for one life. Done.

So the beast said, well how do you know that? Give it a test. Be rational.

I have no answer for that really. Sobriety is not about being rational. Yes it's true, why don't I test it, to see if I am 'cured'? Mainly because I don't think it will work. Mainly from what I have heard at meetings about people slipping and not coming back for 2 years. So why should I take a chance when all I have to do is not drink today?