Yesterday was our holy day holiday of Yom Kippur. I had a rough time because of distractions of others which is now going to be a problem in the future. When I was drinking, many things I would sweep aside, if they bothered me. Even if I was not drunk at the time, maybe there was a hangover or in general knowing that I have something to drink at home later, kept things quiet for me. I am quiet by nature so I tend to not get involved in incidents. But now, I don't have that 'safety net' I do get involved. Of course, I cannot control or change the world. There are asshole but they are a minority. I often focus on this minority too much. of other polite drivers. So why do I focus and get all concerned about the moron?
I got the holiday message early on Sat. morning. I could have stopped right there.
My feeling of love of my higher power being mutual. I asked my higher power to love me even more this year.
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Sunday, September 16, 2007
A "Strange" NA meeting
I sometimes go to a Saturday night Narcotics Anonymous meeting. Not that I was that big of a user - similar to booze but even less. I only used Marijuana. But still, to have full sobriety, I don't want to get into MJ, as a substitute. Also, this is a 10pm Meeting which works out well for Sabbath observers.
There are some differences mainly most of the people there are very young, looks like late teens to early twenties is the majority, with a sprinkling of older folks. This doesn't bother me except with some of the shares, there is more of talk of violence in general and even within the group.
Some don't want to give this up. But I can deal with this, and the message is the same as AA of course, as is most of the shares and speakers. There seems to be more relapsing but I am just surmising, also more coming in and out for a cigarette. also it seems that some people are still using and hang out outside wrapped up in blankets. I guess they had intention of going to the meeting but got sidetracked.
Why I am writing about this is that I drank 2 cups of coffee. I didn't share but I at least talked to a couple of people after. When I got home around midnight, I was watching a TV program I had taped and suffendly felt like I was getting high. You may know this feeling as you weren't planning to get very high maybe you had one hit, but it was very superior stuff or you hadn't had in very long, but there is this queasy feeling that, uh oh, I may have used too much.
At any rate, I was having this feeling last night during the TV program. So I deduced that someone had spiked the coffee with something. I remember praying please let it just be pot, I can deal with this. I think it may have been speed because I was up all night, and I should have been tired.
Or perhaps the 2 cups of coffee, altho they were small, were extremely potent.
I know that this does happen there. because one of their rules is that they state, no illegal activities are allowed or action will be taken.
So it would not surprise me if someone did spike the coffee. But on the other hand, I know they are aware of this possibility and usually assign the coffee committments only to people with alot of time in the program, altho it is always possible to sneak it in.
At any rate, I was up all night and finally slept a half hour around 6am. As long as I was up at 5am, I ate some breakfast which helps as today is a Jewish fast day. Then I slept from 7am-8:30am dreaming of my next upcoming trip to Israel, my arrival at the airport.
There are some differences mainly most of the people there are very young, looks like late teens to early twenties is the majority, with a sprinkling of older folks. This doesn't bother me except with some of the shares, there is more of talk of violence in general and even within the group.
Some don't want to give this up. But I can deal with this, and the message is the same as AA of course, as is most of the shares and speakers. There seems to be more relapsing but I am just surmising, also more coming in and out for a cigarette. also it seems that some people are still using and hang out outside wrapped up in blankets. I guess they had intention of going to the meeting but got sidetracked.
Why I am writing about this is that I drank 2 cups of coffee. I didn't share but I at least talked to a couple of people after. When I got home around midnight, I was watching a TV program I had taped and suffendly felt like I was getting high. You may know this feeling as you weren't planning to get very high maybe you had one hit, but it was very superior stuff or you hadn't had in very long, but there is this queasy feeling that, uh oh, I may have used too much.
At any rate, I was having this feeling last night during the TV program. So I deduced that someone had spiked the coffee with something. I remember praying please let it just be pot, I can deal with this. I think it may have been speed because I was up all night, and I should have been tired.
Or perhaps the 2 cups of coffee, altho they were small, were extremely potent.
I know that this does happen there. because one of their rules is that they state, no illegal activities are allowed or action will be taken.
So it would not surprise me if someone did spike the coffee. But on the other hand, I know they are aware of this possibility and usually assign the coffee committments only to people with alot of time in the program, altho it is always possible to sneak it in.
At any rate, I was up all night and finally slept a half hour around 6am. As long as I was up at 5am, I ate some breakfast which helps as today is a Jewish fast day. Then I slept from 7am-8:30am dreaming of my next upcoming trip to Israel, my arrival at the airport.
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